Wonder how long has it been since i last blog.. But alot of things has happened in my life.. And if i were to seriously talk about everything single thing in detail.. It's gonna take forever lol~ i just need to share some of my troubles, it's ok if there is no readers.

First of all, there is one thing i definitely gotta say if not i'll feel damn uncomfortable. I "had" a girlfriend.. for a year and four months, alot of things has happened between the two of us. There's alot of happy memories.. As well as sad ones.. The most recent one is the also the most upsetting one.. We're on the verge of breaking up.. And it's all due to my fault.. alot of regrets are involve for my part. If i hadn't committed that grave mistake, we would still be happily together. Afterall, i've never loved anyone like i love her before. And it upsets me alot to see her upset.. Yet, the question is, if i'm upset to see her upset, why did i do it?? I've question myself regarding this alot of times too but cant get to any answer as to why i did it. It's really time i do some reflections and also change the way i am.. I'm clear of the fact that i'm no longer the young punk i used to be and i have to get more mature in order to secure a better life.. Although i may say that it's all because of a person's fault that i'm in this current situation, but than again if i hadnt did anything wrong perhaps he wouldn't even have the chance to do what he did. But nevertheless, he "was" one person that i really trust alot... A good friend.. I thought he was at least until recent things he did tells me otherwise.. He's a one of a kind backstabber and i hate people like that cos i was backstab by so called brothers before... And i did not learn, now that it happened a second time, maybe i should change the way how i easily trust people huh? sighs...

I keep telling myself.. That i have to let you go.. I shouldn't be so selfish to keep you to myself when you deserve much better guys out there... But i can't help it... I admit i'm selfish... I want you to myself.. Even though i koe that i'm not good enough for you.. I've changed alot.. But there are still alot more changes i need to make to myself.. And i want you to be there to continue changing me.. I koe by saying such things i'm being very very irresponsible for my actions but still, i have to re-emphasize, i'm selfish... I'm sorry for all the hurt i've caused you.. And i want to tell you that.. No matter what, i still want to give you the best i can give.. Although at times i may say things that will hurt you again and again.. But in fact i don't mean it at all.. It's just because i'm at a lost of what to say... And even as i am saying those things.. It hurts me fucking alot.. I need you by my side. =( Those are just words of anger to myself.. I'm really sorry.. I want to be able to cherish you.. Love you.. Keep you by my side everyday.. Wanna wake up with you by my side.. The first person i wanna see when i wake up and open my eyes is you... Sighs.. I'm feeling upset again..

Really hope that someday we will be able to be together happily again, just like how we used to be.. Want all those happy times when you and me would act as a retard together again..

I love you bibbles~